Ancient Grandeur, Aggressive Grift, and Sphinxter Loosening Terror Traffic

"Baksheesh! Welcome to Egypt"...

… declared the stall vendor as he stole Ethan’s money with a smile. To be fair, it wasn’t exactly theft: Ethan had bought something and, having haggled and agreed a price, paid the man, only to discover that one of the notes that he had handed over was a 50 EGP rather than a 200 EGP note. Correcting the error, the stall holder decided that he would also keep the 50 EGP note as a “tip”.

And this is baksheesh, a deeply ingrained part of Egyptian culture. It covers everything from tipping, to giving money to the poor (which I saw Egyptians do frequently, it being one of the pillars of Islam), to bribing officials.

Certainly a tip is expected for every service interaction. What is difficult for westerners to come to terms with is exactly what constitutes a service interaction. Which is basically everything. If someone talks to you, gives you directions, offers to get you a taxi, or just gives you some sage advice, there is an expectation of a tip. It’s not that they aren’t being genuinely friendly and helpful (even when the help isn’t needed), it’s just that they expect to be compensated for it. That’s just the way it is.

After the initial culture shock, you sort of get used to it, but it does take its toll on your cash reserves! It generally involves small amounts (if frequently) and actually works quite well as an equitable redistribution of wealth from wealthy tourist, to low paid local, to the destitute.

It may come across as a grift, but I think Egyptians see every interaction as an opportunity.

That said, there was some more aggressive grifting techniques on display at the pyramids. There weren’t as many hawkers as I was expecting (but then this was low season) and most were reasonably easily deflected. Ethan had the right idea and just refused to engage. I fell foul of my deeply ingrained politeness and engaged in conversation with a few. This was a mistake. They were generally quite charming but, once they have established that you are probably British or American (and hence an easy mark), they are not going to give up. I had a few awkward moments when, having refused the goods being proffered, they switched tack, claimed it was a gift (it very much was not) and shoved it at my chest, hoping to make me take it. After the goods had fallen to the floor a few times and we had had a few excruciating rounds of me offending by refusing a “gift from the heart” they generally gave up. I quickly honed my technique to a shake of the head and dismissive hand wave rather than speaking!

All of this was expected of course and can’t really detract from the grandeur of the surroundings. I knew that the pyramids were huge, but nothing really prepares you for seeing them close up.

There is still some of the limestone casing in places and they must have looked amazing when fully encased. Even the remnants show an incredible level of precision and you can see just how thick it originally was.

And of course, showing no due respect whatsoever, I had to go for my now signature “Potter Hat” shot with a Pyramid Potter.

This was no mean feat as it was very difficult to take your own photographs at this point without someone wanting to take it for you (with appropriate baksheesh of course), before whisking you off on a camel. I think not.

Even more impressive than the pyramids (at least to my mind) is the Sphinx. The statue itself is huge but some of the blocks in the nearby temple dwarf those used in the pyramids.

And of course the signs or erosion are very much visible on the Sphinx itself and the enclosure. This has lead some people to suggest that the Sphinx is much older than the pyramids and built in a time when the region still had heavy rainfall. This is somewhat contentious as I found out when I raised it with a guide the next day. Lesson learned.

Of course we didn’t really need to spend a sweltering day on the Giza plateau as we had some fine views from the hotel.

The other thing that we had a fine view of from the balcony (and this constituted a large part of the evenings’ entertainment) was the activity in the street - from horse and camel races, to occasional fights and the activities of the local street urchins (our hotel seemed to be on their corner) who seemed to be directed by a female Fagin (or at least I am assuming female, but hard to know with a burkha).

These kids would instantly surround anyone who left the hotel, looking to hone their grift or pick a few pockets but weren’t particularly intimidating. One of them literally got the brush off from a shop keeper, who pushed him out of the shop and across the road with a broom. Unfortunately this humiliated him in front of his peers and, pride wounded, he had to keep going back and having a go at the shop until some baksheesh made the problem go away.

The other group who tend to swarm when you leave the hotel are taxi drivers - although I’m fairly sure that anyone with a car and some spare time is a taxi driver in Egypt.

We tried to stick to Uber but again, some adjustment has to be made. The amount that Uber will let them charge is very low so they instantly message you to negotiate the actually cash price. Again, fine when you get used to it and still less than you would pay for an equivalent journey in the UK.

On the second full day we had booked a driver and guide to take us to Saqqara, Memphis and Dashur. This was our first experience outside of Giza and was quite an eye opener. Not just to the sights and sounds of Egypt, but also to the driving style. There seem to be no rules in terms of lanes, who has right of way (well generally it was anyone confident enough to assert their right of way) etc. There is an awful lot of driving at high speed, inches behind the car in front, weaving through gaps which don’t actually exist, whist dodging pedestrians, horses and carts, camels and other vehicles which have decided to drive down the wrong side of the road. It should have been terrifying, but our driver had mad skills and soon enough you just assume that he can manage any situation.

The tour itself was to see the Step Pyramid at Saqqara, some statues and other relics at Memphis and then on the Dashur to see the Red Pyramid and Bent Pyramid. At Memphis, they found a huge statue of Ramesees II and just built a museum around it.

That's me at the head of the statue, just making myself useful as a scale marker

Of course the real purpose of the tour was to take us to a number of businesses (sorry, places of interest) affiliated with the tour company and extract some tourist cash.

And so we were taken to a carpet factory. Apparently Saqqara is famous for its carpet schools where children go to learn a craft. We were told that the weaving needs nimble fingers and that the kids make a good wage which helps their family out. Still felt a bit like a child sweat shop. Not that it stopped us buying something.

And this was the pattern for the day. Tourist site, then business for a welcome drink and talk (sales pitch) and the pressure to extract more money. So on to a gift stall at Memphis and then back to Giza for a scent shop and the papyrus “museum” where you could get personalized papyrus. They got more savvy at the last two and wheeled out some very attractive women to do the spiel, but by this point we were hot and tired and more or less immune to the grift.

The guide was interesting too. He started the day by explaining to us that Egypt welcomed all people and that Muslims, Jews and Christians all coexisted peacefully there but when he started telling us about the secret Freemason rulers of the world pushing the Zionist agenda, I began to wonder. Still we were a long way from anywhere at that point and I wasn’t going to question him!

On the final day, we had to check out of the hotel by lunch time but the flight wasn’t until the evening, so we determined to head to the museum. The question is: which one. The Grand Egyptian museum is a huge new development at Giza, which has been partially open but was supposed to fully open last week. Probably not surprising that it has been delayed as they have apparently been opening it since 2008. The problem is that they have moved some of the exhibits from the old Cairo Museum, but its hard to get information on what is where. Luckily the guide on the previous day had told us that the Tutankhamen exhibition was still at the old one and so into Cairo we head.

Now this was traffic of a whole different order from the previous day. Greater Cairo has 22 million people and they were all out driving angrily. If you have ever seen driving in Rome, that’s like pensioners out for a Sunday afternoon potter compared with Cairo. And most of the taxis don’t have seatbelts in the back - which is disconcerting when your driver pulls his seatbelt on whilst negotiating a junction and using his phone. Absolutely terrifying. And we had to get back the other way.

The museum was interesting but brutally hot, with no air conditioning. It had some great exhibits though - including the mask and coffins of Tutankhamen, which are stunning (and the main thing we wanted to see). They don’t let you take photographs of that (although I’m sure a little baksheesh would sort that). Of course I already had some photos as the guide the previous day had stiffed me for a USB key with photographs on after pointing out the restriction. No opportunity missed!

As an added complication to the trip, the internet in the whole of Egypt went down on the last day. Apparently this was due to a single ageing server crashing. This obviously filled the old IT manager in me with horror! The upshot was that nowhere could take card payments. Cash reserves depleted by the constant tipping attrition, I was glad that I had some foreign currency with me. Initially I went through my leftover dollars (ignore any advice that Egyptians prefer local currency, they all very much want dollars), before having to resort to sterling.

On to the airport and more security checks than I have encountered anywhere else, but somehow felt less thorough.

All in all, quite the experience. I don’t know how much of a hurry I will be in to go back, but I’m certainly glad I’ve been and it was far less edgy than I thought it might be given the tensions in the region. Still, I know how the system works now so maybe I will be back with a big wedge of dollars!