What Happens in Amsterdam...

Banksie, elusive Brunch, Belgian Beer and elderly bladders

So, a check-in by about 9am following a drive through rush hour traffic on the M1 sounds a bit stressful to me, and hence I opt for the staying in Luton the night before the flight. All well and good and certainly reduced the morning stress, but from what I saw of Luton, it makes Swindon look like Mayfair. I’m sure there are some nice parts ..?

Big decision of the day - breakfast at the Premier Inn or in the airport? I have time to kill and there are more food options at the airport - the self-confessed “Best Airport in Europe”. I would like to see the marking there but it is certainly better than many airports I have been in. After a brief scouting expedition, I settle on a Mexican breakfast bowl as being a tasty looking option. Can’t go wrong with some refired beans a guacamole. At least so I thought. Clearly re-heated and a little dry, it made me wish that I hadn’t foregone the breakfast Margherita!

Anyway, that should keep me going for a while. Just as well as it turned out that our food tracking skills in Amsterdam were less than effective.

Schiphol airport may well have a claim to being the best airport in Europe. It’s absolutely huge and I even (flying in the face of all logic) started to think that I had somehow missed passport control after walking for about 15 minutes through departure lounges, shopping areas etc. Still I eventually made it to the large queue to get “Schengened”, before meeting up with a friend and finding our way, via pretty user friendly public transport, to our AirBnB.

The narrow, winding staircase through a dark stairwell up to the apartment is quite challenging (and of course our minds immediately went to how much fun this would be after a drink) but soon forgotten after being greeted in flawless English by out convivial host. It always amazes me how friendly and patient the Dutch are. The same is true of Scandinavians. Both also speak excellent English (better than many British people if truth be known), allowing me to be lazy and not learn more than a few words just out of politeness.

Anyway, ditching the bags we set out to explore the local area - more touristy stuff can wait, although I have been to the more mainstream museums a few times before. First stop is a beer & cider shop with a fabulous selection. We load up on Dutch and Belgian beers and a number of lambic brews before heading back to the apartment via a supermarket and some snackable materials.

Nice beers and particularly mature Dutch cheese formed a significant part of the diet for the weekend, but didn’t feel any the worse for it. I like to think that the lambic beers were pretty much like having an Actimel.

Anyway, come the time for tourism, we have decided to go for the more obscure end of the market. I had identified a few likely spots but had failed to see whether they were open at the time we were going and/or generally open during our visit. A couple of fails in the wet and windy weather before we finally stumble into the warm embrace of the Embassy of the Free Mind. This is an old house dedicated the the study of all esoteric traditions and houses the Ritman Library (or formally, Bibliotheca Philosophica Hermetica). The founder, Joost Ritman, spent years collecting and preserving rare works on hermeticism, religion, philosophy. Apparently the library was also a source of inspiration for Dan Brown when he was researching The Da Vinci Code.

All the really rare books are in a cordoned off section and only viewable by appointment but there was enough in the accessible areas to see - at least until our pottering around and chatting clearly started to disturb the researchers in the reading room. Cool place.

Leaving the Embassy, we have conceived a desire for brunch. But not just any brunch. We both have fond memories of a previous visit to Amsterdam and a fine repast of pumpkin soup and sandwiches. This is what we require. With beer. And so the search begins. It quickly becomes apparent that we may have unnecessarily narrowed our search, but we are committed. After trudging around for a while I spot a row of awnings outside a building by the canal. Surely a row of cafes? Not so much. Even before we get close, the shifty looking characters window shopping have alerted us to what awaits in these windows. Zesty treats there may be here, but it is no pumpkin soup. We move on.

Eventually we give up and just settle on beer. Of course the bar that we drop into also does food - and possibly would have served us with a version of pumpkin soup if we had been there before 3pm. Ah well, the supermarket and more “oud” cheese beckons.

Back in the apartment with some more fine beers it quickly becomes apparent that our lives may be in peril. The apartment is on two floors and the toilet is , of course, on the upper one. Not good news for an ageing bladder, particularly as the narrow, windy staircase motif continues within the flat. Worse still, the inside staircase is painted and remarkably conducive to a rapid descent if wearing non-gripping footwear. I have rarely had to concentrate so much!

Death trap!

The hosts had fitted child stair gates in a number of places. Very sensible - they clearly know their clientele.

Next day and some more tourism to be had. We head to Moco for an artistic fix. This is an interesting but somewhat snug gallery, with art for Banksie and Robbie Williams (yes, that Robbie Williams) amongst others. Robbie’s art drips with the need for constant attention…

.. but there are some entertaining pieces…

As well as a few immersive installations…

Who’s that the confused old bloke looking lost..?

I was trying to get the obligatory photo of myself on the Time cover, but the bloke to my right was clearly bossing it!

Luckily we had a restaurant booked for the evening and so did not have to rely on out somewhat dubious food tracking skills to lead us to a fine, tempeh-based Indonesian feast.

The final day and the hosts have offered us a late check out, meaning that we have time to wander into the centre of Amsterdam and potter around rather than head straight to the airport.

I spot what I think is the best branding I have seen in a while:

I send the photo to Ethan who immediately disqualifies it from a place on the “best branding ever” pantheon on the basis that this is fries rather than chips. Technicality, but rules is rules!

The sun is actually shining today and so Amsterdam looks considerably more inviting than previous days.

Her come the lizards…

Some fun tee shirt shops with some quite tempting wares:

But of course I have already acquired the best merch (although note to self: look at the price before tapping the phone! Still I count it as a donation).

And so, bidding Amsterdam a fond farewell, on to the journey home and a flight back to Luton arriving 10 minutes after leaving Schiphol.

More travel required methinks.