Cortez the Killer

Hey Hey, My My, Tony's Droll Will Never Dry

Well I have name-checked Montezuma so thought we had probably better get Cortez in on the act too. Cortez is a town in Colorado that I am heading to as I start some of the long sections of the trip, temporarily dipping back into New Mexico and Colorado before heading north.

Is the drive from Page to Cortez a killer? Not really, it is a long but pleasant drive. That was just poetic license that was.

Anyway, that is for later. The main business f the day is the trip to Antelope Canyon. The tour company that I have booked with sent me very extensive lists of rules and disclaimers absolving them of responsibility for anything that may befall me, now or at any point in my life or any future lives.

They make it very clear that you have to be able to complete the walk in a set time and, if you are the one holding up the next trip, you are liable for reimbursing any cancellations. Seems harsh. You are also not allowed to take backpacks unless they are transparent. It is unclear why this is, but a few people seemed to have them, so it’s clearly a thing. I expect they sell them in the shop at the tour office. When I asked the tour guide why this was he was a bit vague and said that people like to take things that they shouldn’t. I suspect it may be related to it being tribal land so it is either to stop people taking illicit stuff in or loading up with souvenir rocks and such on the way out.

If the Grand Canyon is industrial level tourism, Antelope Canyon is a fine tuned production line. The volume of traffic is huge but the guides seem to have managed to shuffle their groups along so as not to get in each other’s way. It is all about getting the prime shots, and we are told where to stand, where the best angles are etc. (although the information didn’t seem to be much use to the old couple who just stepped in front of anyone or block the tour whenever they felt like it).

To be fair Antelope Canyon must be on of the most photogenic spots in the world. I duly took more than my quota of photos (hope there wasn’t a rule against that!) and hopefully some turned out OK.

Wow, just wow

On the way back into Page, I ask the guide about all the churches along the road. This had struck me when I drove through Page a decade ago. Apparently it stems back to when the community was being built to house workers on the nearby dam. The planners in their wisdom decided to cluster similar buildings together and many different denominations applied to build their places of worship there, and so there are now 12 or 13 churches on what the locals refer to as the Holy Curve.

Then on to a 3 hour drive through pleasant and varied landscapes, skirting just south of Monument Valley, past Red Mesa and up into the fairly spectacular Ute mountain country. No photos though of course - If I stopped for a photo at every spectacular vista, I would need six months for this trip.

As it is a long drive, pretty much along one road, I have been utilising the cruise control for the first time on the trip. This really helps, although it gets dangerously easy to zone out. I had a go with the constant distance (matching your speed to the car in front) mode which I hadn’t used before. That is a bit disconcerting, although I found it even more disturbing when the person behind me was clearly using it. Still, anything to ease that long drive.

Getting close to Cortez, I see a sign for Blanding. I am tempted. Having been to Dull, Scotland and Boring, Oregon this would perhaps make a worthy addition to the collection. That said, and this being America, Blanding could easily be 80 or 100 miles down that road. Now if it had been called Bland, there would have been no question. I would happily divert for an amusing adjective, but a verb? Gotta have standards. I drive on.

I’m back on the budget hotel trail and tonight I am trying a Days Inn. Very pleasant. I haven’t really had a problem with any of the budget hotels (OK, Motel 6 was a little sketchy). At worst they are in need of a little touch up but they tend to be clean, have all the facilities you would expect, free wifi and breakfast (which isn’t always the case with more upmarket ones), a cheap self-serve laundry (crucial on a log road trip) rather than an overpriced laundry service. I have a few more to try out, but the random drifting on a budget seems totally doable.

One of the worst rooms I have had on this trip was at the Grand Canyon which cost 2-3 times more than this, but I guess you pay a premium for the location.

And with all the driving I have not been paying more than about £15 per day for petrol.

Which is probably just as well as I think the drives are going to stretch out now…