Cheesy Tourism & Scheduling Snafus

Having randomly selected a week in March to head to Cornwall for a few days, I seem to have spectacularly fallen foul of the vagaries of the British weather. For the last week we have been basking in unseasonably warm and sunny weather. This week the temperature is due to drop by about 10 degrees and the sun will likely go into retreat.

Also, it would seem that at this time of year the South West is closed on Mondays and Tuesdays. Who knew? Well presumably people who make the effort to research where they are going, I suppose. In my defence, I had actually checked the tide times for access to Merlin’s Cave at Tintagel. I had, somewhat cavalierly it turns out, failed to check whether Tintagel Castle itself was open during my stay before booking the hotel.

Nothing if not adaptable, I will switch from Plan A to Plan B and visit the Eden Project on the way down to Penzance and return to Tintagel on the way home at the end of the week. Balance is restored. I will still attempt Merlin’s Cave on Tuesday morning on account of already being in Tintagel.

It being a chuffing long drive from Nottingham to Cornwall, I decide to stop at Cheddar Gorge enroute. According to the bumf:

Cheddar Gorge is England's largest gorge, stretching almost three miles long and reaching a depth of about 400 feet. It was formed primarily by meltwater floods during the last Ice Age, which carved out the limestone rock over time

It certainly has some scenic chops. I take a wander on foot up the gorge first for a quick gander before heading back to see if I can access the famous caves.

The main ticket office is closed of course. I begin to wonder if the hobgoblin of poor planning is going to be chuckling at me all the way through this trip. Luckily it seems that the ticket office at Gough’s cave is open and so I buy a ticket for the all of the attractions. This seems to be the only option: £24 for access to all of the attractions (a couple of caves, Museum of Prehistory, Jacob’s Ladder…). As I still have a ways to go today, I will have to get on it to maximize my ROI.

First stop (well I was there): Goughs Cave. Dug out in the mid to late nineteenth century it is home to some spectacular rock formations and, of course Cheddar Man. There is some confusing coverage around this. Some of the material refers to Cheddar Man (dating to about 10000 years ago) as the earliest Briton. This is clearly not the case, but I think it is the oldest full skeleton ever found.

This is not of course the actual skeleton as apparently the Natural History Museum pulled a bait and switch and left this fine replica.

Onwards to weird and wonderful rock formations…

… and the motherlode of mature cheddar. Just seeing this much cheese in one place makes my arteries start to harden, but paradoxically gives me the urge to buy some cave-aged cheddar. Prudence, and the thought of this ripening in the car for 5 days gets the better of me.

Mmmmmm….

Speed reading my way through the material in the Museum of Prehistory (still trying to get my £24 worth) I learn that from DNA analysis of Cheddar Man, he probably had dark hair, dark skin and blue eyes. An unusual combo. Apparently they ran some comparisons with modern Somerset DNA and found a close mitochondrial match in a local maths teacher - although they failed to provide a photograph of same.

No time to rest, onwards to the next attraction, Cox’s cave. They have tarted this one up with some audio-visual effects. Whilst some of it is quite engaging, I quickly get annoyed at not being able to get a a natural photograph without some light show suddenly turning things purple.

Is it just me or does the middle one look like a bird...with an eye that is another bird...

No time now for the cliff top walk. I am reminded by this that it is time to head to Camelot Castle, my digs for the night:

This is a grand building (with, of course a round table), the staff are remarkably friendly and the whole place feels as though it is from a different era.

Obviously I have opted for the cheapest room. This is generally adequate except that, being an old building, they have built one of those pod “bathrooms” into it. I can barely sit on the toilet without my knees sticking out of the door. Probably best close those curtains…

After a nice meal of vegetarian (so they say) pulled brisket in a local pub, I head back to the hotel and read my email from the Eden project with strict instructions on when to arrive to be allowed in and also some details on upcoming events.

Turns out that if I had come next week I could get in free by showing a lottery ticket!

I see you hobgoblin, I see you…