Castles, Crowds & Carbs

Valetta Meanderings

There generally comes a point in every trip when I have to bite the bullet and go full tourist.

Today is that day.

I am off to Valetta, Primarily to visit the archaeological museum, but I will also take in some of the other sites (if only to ensure that I am maximizing my investment in the Heritage Malta pass).

I decide to take the ferry as this is by far the quickest route, but am soon reminded of why you always cover as many bases as possible when travelling. I had been led to believe that my Tallinja card would be valid for this trip. It was not. My attempt to pay with my phone was rebuffed with a “cash only”. This is not a problem as I always carry cash even if I rarely use it these days. Just a reminder that it is always worth having phone, physical cards and cash on hand just in case!

After a short and pleasant crossing, we dock at Valetta and the crowds head up the hill into the city. Most head for the centre, so obviously I go the other way. I figure that I will start at the top of the peninsula and head back down towards the bus terminus via multiple stops. Hence I find myself at Fort St. Elmo (why is it that I keep seeing images of the Brat Pack) just as it is opening.

The coastal defences around Malta are staggering, whilst simultaneously being unsurprising in a country which has been invaded so many times. That’s what you get for being a strategically significant small island I guess.

There is much in the fort and museum around Malta’s central role in WWII, especially in relation to submarine warfare. I am more interested in the tenure of the Knights of St. John - in particular the seige of 1565 when 700 knights and about 7000 militia held off the 40000 strong force of Suleiman the Magnificent for 4 months. Now that is hardcore. Malta was awarded the George Cross in WWII for heroism and resilience. Clearly these are people who know how to step up. Don’t mess.

As I wander around reading the displays, I notice once again the fact that H & h in Maltese have bars across them. This looks odd in upper case but strangely familiar to the dormant physicist in me in the lower case. I approve. It smacks of a combination of the ancient and (relatively) modern. If this is gibberish to you, don’t worry, just move on by…

Talking of modern, toilet facilities in Malta can be quite interesting. Often there will be mixed gender toilets but then some of the cubicles will be designated as for women only. You have to keep your wits about you!

And so on to the Grand Master’s Palace. Again, impressive building, but you can only really look at so many suits of armour and pikes before it becomes a diminishing return. I can’t help but think that the wearer of this breastplate had a very diminished return.

Next up, the archaeological museum. This is great (although I have obviously made my bias in such matters very clear). The neolithic and bronze age sections particularly grab me. At the risk of wittering on about this, these charts show where the stuff in Malta lies in relation to other ancient sites. There have been people here for over 8000 years and they started building temples and producing art about 600 years ago.

The “Sleeping Lady” is a fine example of one of the oldest artefacts from the region.

Back to wandering the streets …. and I may have to do this in a more relaxed manner if time allows. Valetta is a beautiful city - if a little busy for my tastes today.

As the day goes on, thoughts turn to food. I have been eyeing up some of the local pies and pasties. They look really good , but most of them are meaty, including their very own diabetes precursor, timpana, which is basically a meaty pasta baked in a pie. You’re gonna feel that.

I finally discover something that looks like a mozzarella and tomato pasty and so take the plunge….

The taste is more bready than pastry and I can’t quite put my finger on it. Then it dawns on me: it tastes like suet, but deep fried. I decide it’s best not to overthink it and just eat up. Hunger will have its way!

Oh, I seem to have forgotten to mention a trip to MUZA, the art museum. Now I am not suggesting that there aren’t a few interesting pieces there, but I did find myself wondering what the minimum amount of time was that I could spend there without seeming rude.

Feeling rude is something I have to get over. My heavily ingrained politeness is doing me no favours on the buses. The Maltese people are lovely, but they do not queue. Better sharpen up those elbows. In fact the whole bus system it strikes me is not for shy and retiring types. Even to catch a bus you often have to gesticulate wildly to get it to pull over.

Gradually getting the measure of it!