I’m off for my 4th island trip of the year and it does not get off to an auspicious start. As I am wandering with my luggage toward the shuttlebus, the driver looks straight a me, indicates to pull out and sails blithely past, leaving me to wait 20 minutes for the next one. What a d**k!
Its possible that I am oversensitive to bad omens after my trip to the Azores with its attendant trials and tribulations, so visiting another Atlantic island has me on high alert.
Still I have never heard of any particular difficulties with landing in Tenerife, but who knows? Then again, I am flying Ryanair, so the chances of them turning around, ferrying people back to the UK and putting them up in a hotel for a night before making a second attempt is, I think, effectively zero.
There is a frisson of doubt as we start the descent, but I need not have worried. Not only are we about 30 minutes early, but passport control is seamless too - with the slight exception of some woman haranguing the airport staff because she didn’t like the fact that the queue made her double back and cover an extra 50 feet. Gotta love the Brits abroad…
There is some slight hoo-hah at the hire car desk - no queues or delay, but of course the thorny question of extra insurance raises its ugly head. I thought that I had paid extra insurance upfront, but can find no evidence of it on the paperwork.
Sigh.
We all know the deal here. You can either leave the 1200 euro deposit, on the understanding that they will find a scratch or dent when the car is returned and keep it, or accept the 90 euro fleecing for peace of mind.
I really can’t be bothered arguing as I am keen to set off to the hotel. As I am deliberating, the woman behind the counter asks me if there is someone else that I have to ask permission from. This makes me laugh but almost pushes me in the opposite direction. I can appreciate a bit of pro nudging when I see it, but I think you probably first need to establish if your target is a contrarian. No matter, I let her off the hook, take my financial beating and head to the car.
Now the reason that I am keen to set off to the hotel is that I have indulged in a bit of travel snobbery and have decided not to stay in the touristy coastal strip, but have rather opted to stay up in the mountains, on the fringes of Teide National Park. I assume that this will be far more peaceful (as indeed it turns out to be), but first I have to get there.
The mountain roads in Tenerife are interesting (terrifying) and I was not keen to have my first driving experience here on these roads after dark and, thanks to Ryanair and a quick pass through immigration, it looks as though getting there during daylight is eminently achievable. (The additional factor is that the hotel reception closes at 10, so definitely need to be there by then).
The hire car is well provisioned with alarms - speed limit changes, speeding infringements, lane drift etc. - and is happy to point out to me my many misdemeanours on the drive up. To be fair, I think I do ok considering there is the inevitable readjustment to driving on the right and a road like this:
… and of course the tailgating from locals impatient with timid drivers who are (or so it must seem to them) bizarrely cautious on hairpin bends. I mean after all, the coaches don’t seem to feel the need to slow down or stay on their own side of the road, so why should I worry?
Then again, some of the speed limits in towns and villages of 20 or 30 km/h go to the other extreme of safety and are actually worse than Wales. Nuff said.
When I get to the hotel, the staff are very welcoming and friendly but tell me that the restaurant will be closed for the foreseeable future (apart from for breakfast) as the chef unfortunately has a heart condition. No doubt, I think, brought on by the stress of the commute up those roads!
No matter, I have some nuts to tide me over and after that drive a bourbon supper is probably in order.
Apparently the hotel has gyms, hot tubs and a sauna, so I may have to avail myself of those (well not the gym obviously) at some point but for now I will just chill out on my patio and watch the sun go down…
The next day, after some rumination as to what order I do things in, I decide I will go for a hike at the Chinyero Volcano. My aim is to not run around quite as much as I usually do and just do some gentle hiking, visit a few places of interest and maybe indulge in a bit more lounging around than usual. After all, sometimes you have to take time out from the hectic, non-stop, stress-fuelled adrenaline ride that is retirement. This location seems quite conducive to that.
Driving anywhere not so much so.
Next day and I am cruising back down some extreme bends towards the coast (I was later to realise that the car sat nav - no Android Auto, bah - was taking me to a visitor centre which would involve much more uphill walking to the volcano than I had in mind, rather than where I wanted to go).
The views everywhere in Tenerife (at least thus far) have been spectacular, but you can’t really savour them whilst in the throws of intense sweaty-palmed, sphincter-flapping concentration. My road trips around the US have been far more relaxing. Much of the scenery in Tenerife is reminiscent of the North Western USA, but the USA seems to have far fewer truly terrifying roads - although they do get a look in!
So, I find myself in Santiago del Teide, thanks to a Sat Nav which seems to know nothing of obscure lookouts or trail heads. I pull over to reassess my navigation options take a little time to the wander to the Tourist Information Centre. A board outside has some info on the trail to the volcano. How much elevation ? This is definitely not the starting point I am looking for. Pausing only to snap some Guanche king (hopefully more on the Guanches later in the week) and a pretty church, I head back to the car and go rogue. Hyundai sat nav is dead to me now.
Pulling over on a sharp bend to get a first view of Teide ( yes, already pulling out at such points has lost its fear!) I am accosted by a local farmer selling his wares. He gives me a taste of numerous cheeses, jams and pastes, and also has some olive oil - all produced on his farm. I am tempted by it all but settle for some smoky goat’s cheese and a spicey saffron paste. He assures me that the cheese will last 3 months, but I think not. I imagine that will be consumed over the course of the week. The Saffron pastes has a much better chance of making it back to Nottingham.
Onwards to the Chinyero Circular route.
It says it is circular, but I end up doing an out and back route (gentle OCD rocking…). This is mainly because I realised that I had probably gone the wrong way and was not convinced that the trail I was on would actually loop back.
Not an issue, the walk is delightful, if somewhat warm, passing through pine forest (soaking up a healthy dose of terpenes) before this gives way to the lava fields and then a number of volcanic vents and lava tubes. Fairly spectacular stuff - even if it turns out that I didn’t see the actual volcano - it is clearly all part of the same system.
And this gets me thinking. Is it good enough to see something awesome, or do you need to see THE THING? I am very much leaning towards the former, but this may just be me trying to justify my poor planning and research 🤣 I suspect that purists would feel unsatisfied unless they see the actual tourist attraction, but I am happy with what I saw and experienced.
And it never ceases to surprise me that life clings to these places
Although a reminder of the dangers too…
But on a lighter note, clearly I had to try for a few Volcano Potters
Of course none of this means that I will just go and look at Mount Teide and not go up on the cable car for the full tourist experience. Easily pleased I may be, a fool I am not.
Anyway, that is for tomorrow.
"the woman behind the counter asks me if there is someone else that I have to ask permission from"
Yes, permission from your wife! You could have replied, "Yes, you! Do you want to be the woman whom I'll have to ask permission from?"