Day 18 – From Swamp to Swamp (to Swamp)

Day 18 – From Swamp to Swamp (to Swamp)

So, the final day and some 12 or so hours to kill before the late flight. Ethan has found some places to visit which may be of interest but may also conceivably just be box-ticking exercises aimed at getting another State in (Maryland). He was keen to go to Baltimore, but I have seen the Wire and was having no part of that. This must have done for Baltimore what Deliverance did for Tallulah Falls!

Instead we headed out of the Washington swamp into the Maryland wetlands and Battle Creek Cypress Swamp. Interesting sort of place, containing lots of “trees with knees” – apparently these help the trees to breathe:

Trees with knees

Ethan spotted this one which looked as though the trees had gone beyond just breathing and were giving a rock horns salute to the world

Rock Horns

From here we had a trip to the coast penciled in, to catch a glimpse of Chesapeake Bay. Now, generally speaking, I am happy to have a good walk and experience tells me that Ethan will usually find a car park within a few hundred yards of what he wants to see, so imagine my surprise when the beach (such as it was) turned out to be a 4 mile round trip, through another swamp in 85 degree heat, wearing the clothes that we intended to fly in. I suspect my usual bonhomie may have become a little frayed. Still, the 20mx5m strip of beach seemed to have attracted 30 or 40 other intrepid fools. But at least we saw Chesapeake Bay (tick!).

Swamp 3 of the day


Yes, that’s it – but the interesting part is close!

Having sweated our way back to the car, we headed off towards Dulles airport and another geek treat inside a real life version of Top Trumps. I have no idea why the Dulles branch of the Smithsonian isn’t better advertised, but it has some great exhibits.

The undisputed Top trump of aircraft from my spotty, nerdy youth – the Blackbird (fastest, highest flying, most expensive…). Possibly the coolest plane ever made:


The coolest plane ever made?

But wait, there is the space shuttle discovery too!


… Unless you count this

There was a Concorde, but let’s move on to the Enola Gay. Looked nice and shiny. Can’t help but wonder if it’s been polished up ready to be recommissioned and sent over to North Korea…

Enola Gay

Sombre purpose but catchy tune.

… and does anyone remember a lunatic skydiving from a balloon at the edge of space? Yep, that’s here too…

Hard to express just how much geeking out was going on here!

Sadly, all geek things must come to an end and we eventually had to draw a line under the trip and head to the airport proper. Ethan received the parting gift of having his bag rummaged through by Homeland Security.

Parting Gift

Parting Gift

Not quite as welcoming as mints on a pillow. We were trying to think what might have triggered the search and all we can think of is that maybe the foam Atlanta Braves tomahawk turned up on the x-ray. Of course, rummaging through they will have found his fine collection of souvenir tat and will no doubt have been in awe at the level of dedication that he brings to tourism.

US. Done.

(For now…)


Day 17 – The Lincoln Link

Day 17 – The Lincoln Link

Last full day in DC today, although we have some time tomorrow before the evening flight and a car to get around (it was cheaper to hire a car for the day than to get a cab to the airport!). It turns out that there is a Smithsonian outpost at Dulles with some cool (I use “cool” in the aerospace nerd sense here) stuff – Concorde, a Space shuttle, Blackbird and, possibly, Enola Gay. How did we not know about this before? Time has duly been set aside.

First outing of the day to the Newseum, Washington’s tribute to the first amendment and the rights of the free press. It’s an excellent museum documenting the history of the press and exhibits from major events…

Twin Tower Spire

World Trade Centre Tower Spire

…and some sections of the Berlin wall. Can you figure out which side is east and which west?

There are endless old newspapers, including one documenting the gunpowder plot, ancient copies of the Observer and the Spectator etc. and some interesting stuff from the FBI.

From here we went in search of lunch and ended up in Lincoln’s Waffles. A Vietnamese greasy spoon that made the Victoria Centre cafe look like World Service. There was actually a slick on my coffee. Tasty, but I felt like I needed a shower afterwards and was exuding grease for several hours. We were befriended by the resident nutter (Hi Steve!) who had considerably more knowledge of the dealings of Prince Charles than I do. At least I thought he was a nutter (albeit a very friendly and pleasant one) before he revealed himself to be a man of incisiveness and discernment by asking if Ethan and myself were brothers. I think I found it more amusing than Ethan.

A quick hike out to the Thomas Jefferson memorial before heading back to the scene of our earlier greasy crime and Ford’s Theatre, the location of Lincoln’s assassination.

Ford Theatre Balcony

Wait a minute, that’s not Lincoln!

Lincoln was shot on this balcony and someone felt it was a good idea to put a picture of Washington there. That’s just adding insult to (extreme) injury!

As it turns out, the Newseum is on the site of the old National Hotel where John Wilkes Booth stayed the night before he shot Lincoln. Almost as though we planned that link. What with the greasy spoon as well, synchronicity was playing silly buggers with us. Spooky.

Day 16 – Washington Wash Out

Day 16 – Washington Wash Out

Looks like Washington is getting some of the rain from the tail end of hurricane Harvey on it today. We seem to have been just ahead of the worst of this for the whole trip with Tennessee getting a considerable soaking after we left.

It be damp

Of course, being the intrepid breakfasters that we are, Ethan and myself got thoroughly soaked in search of a hearty morning repast. The research had led us to believe that Duke’s Grocery in the DuPont Circle area of Washington would provide a decent veggie brunch option). This indeed proved to be the case (they apparent fry their potato concoction in truffle oil and it certainly works!) but required quite the expedition. According to Google we have walked nearly 50 miles since we have been in DC…

Washington is heaving this weekend (it is apparently Labour Day weekend), so I’m glad we managed to get through some of the museums during the week. We will manfully fight through some more today.

I wanted to go to the Hirshorn to check out some modern art, but opinion was split within our party as to the sense of this endeavour. I forged on solo and was rewarded with some classics.  One of the guides on the tour bus had waxed less than lyrical about this…


$850,000? Bargain!

Apparently, it had cost the American tax payer $850,000 and opinion is somewhat divided.

Anyway, much inspired I set off to create my own street art. The White House lawn presented a juxtaposition of geese and rising steam which I like to call “Geeser”…



…and this which I entitle “Ratus Deflatus”.

Ratus Deflatus

Ratus Deflatus

Sorry, but it’s a slow news day!

Anyway, we both thoroughly enjoyed the Museum of the American Indian and our second visit to HipCityVeg for the most outrageously good vegan fast food I have tasted in a long time. Damp, but well fed.

Day 15 – Where now Captain Howdy?

Day 15 – Where now Captain Howdy?

We’re casting our net a bit wider today. Heading out of the centre to the zoo and to explore the historic areas of Georgetown and Foggy Bottom. We’re probably not going to spend much time in Foggy Bottom, but I just like typing it. Shady Grove is another good one – probably perfectly innocent, but seems quite apt for Washington. How do these names get picked?

Anyway, first stop the zoo, primarily to see the pandas. Luckily for us, they were out and performing today.

Panda Curious

What’s this then?

Panda Boxed

Aww, my head’s stuck.

Panda Vexed

I hope noone saw that.

Hard to believe that they are dying out.

Great to see them, but we were quite disappointed not to see the sloth bear. Couldn’t be bothered to put in an appearance. Lazy bastard.

I am genuinely shocked by the size of the anaconda. There is no excuse for a snake this size.

I mean really?

Onwards to Georgetown under the pretense of viewing some historic buildings. Of course what we were really interested in was seeing the Exorcist steps…

Exorcist steps

Anyone hear the sound of tubular bells?

Somone had thoughtfully left this to help us battle any demons that might show up,

or possibly out of concern for the sort of people who would be interested in such things. I was actually tempted to try an exorcism of the joggers who kept getting in our way running up and down the steps. Any lingering evil was overwhelmed by the whiff of sweaty smugness.

Back into the core of Washington and an audience with the main man. I’m not entirely convinced of his credentials…

Run, run far, run fast

Time to head to Cuba, I wouldn’t trust this guy to run the country.

Day 14 – Into the Belly of the Beast

Day 14 – Into the Belly of the Beast

This is a day to tick off some of Ethan’s list after he tolerated my unseemly space geekery yesterday. First up, a tour around the rather impressive Capitol Building.


It all happens here

I found it all quite fascinating (although obviously, I would not admit this to Ethan) and got an interesting slant on the revolutionary and independence aspects from our Scottish tour guide. The building is quite spectacular but has on several occasions turned out to be sadly inadequate as the US expanded beyond the initial 13 states. Still, can’t fault the decor or the statement of intent.

In fact, all of the buildings in DC could comfortably be in Rome or Vienna. I guess if you build a capital city from scratch, you can design it however you want. Apparently, the obelisks etc. are a consequence of the founders being masons and obsessed with Egyptian stuff.

Washington Manument

Which way is up?

It seems that DC was supposed to take land from Maryland and Virginia and was designed to be a perfect diamond. At some point, Virgina balked at giving land over to the federal government and asked for it back. Congress apparently voted to allow it, but I can’t help thinking that some of the congressmen would have been gently rocking in their seats, thinking of what this would do to the symmetry…


It’s supposed to be a diamond. it’s supposed to be a diamond…

Anyway, from the Capitol, on to the botanical gardens to see the stinking corpse flower (well why wouldn’t you?). Apparently, this plant flowers once every 7-10 years and just happens to be this week. Right place and right time for once. Didn’t seem all that stinky though so maybe the cold hasn’t entirely cleared up. I wasn’t too disappointed!

Corpse Flower

Stinking corpse you say?

Trademark whopper


Onwards to Arlington and the Pentagon (strictly drive by) and then back to the history museum. We were greeted by this guy…

The Mighty Washington

I’m not sure he would approve

Now Washington as a national hero: yes, father of the nation: sure, but Greek god? I think not. The guy had hippopotamus teeth for goodness sakeYou can see why he had to work so hard not to be anointed God-Emporer.

Still some interesting stuff inside.

Last tourist trip of the day to the National Archives to view the original copies of the Constitution, Bill of Rights and Declaration of Independence. I maintained that I didn’t think that the Declaration of Independence looked valid, but I didn’t sense a lot of support for the notion.


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